9/12 - Alton, Illinois (home of "Fast Eddie's")

This was our third and final day in Alton in preparation for the next stage of our trip on the Mississippi, Ohio, and Cumberland Rivers. We left the boat at 8 a.m. and went to the local Farmers' Market where we picked up fresh vegetables, and home-made breads, cookies and apple tarts. Then we headed to a large grocery store to stock up with everything we would need for the refrigerator, freezer, and pantry for at least 10 days without access to a market.

Pat then spent the rest of the afternoon organizing all these purchases, cleaning the interior of the boat, and writing our blog. In order not to be in the way of her activities, George VOLUNTEERED to visit a well-known bar/eatery in the area, "Fast Eddie's Bonair" in order to personally research its notoriety.

"Fast Eddie's" was first recommended by the agent when we rented a car in Alton. It was also recommended by various folks at the marina, and it became clear that the captain, for the good of those reading this blog, should explore the wonders of "Fast Eddie's".

George got in a cab and went on his way. The driver again regaled him with stories about the glories of this landmark bar. Where George was going sounded like a bar "nirvana".

The outside of "Fast Eddie's" was a completely nondescript structure with the bar food menu and prices painted on the exterior wall: 1/2 pound burgers for a $1.00, home made Bratwurst for a $1.00, a basket of French Fries for (you guessed it) a $1.00. The Captain had to go in and see this for himself.

Upon entering this unique establishment he was struck by the size of the place and the number of people in it. It was huge. It was sort of a combination of "Sloppy Joe's" in Key West, the old "Jimmy Byrne's" and "Jerry Lynch's" bars from the New Jersey shore, and the local bar your father may have hung out in when you were a kid, but all on a grand scale, a very grand scale!

There were literally hundreds of people in the place. The clientele ran from bikers to business men, blue collar, white collar, and no collar. They were all there. Although most folks were in there 20s and 30s, the patrons' ages ran into the early 80s. It was quite an assortment of humanity.

George observed a line and went to the end of it. He asked the guy in front of him what the line was for. He explained this was the line to order food. It wrapped half way around a large rectangular bar. George was told that he was in luck, but when he got into the line it went all the way around the bar. (Lucky guy!) It was rather convenient with the bar and food line right next to each other because you could drink your way around the bar, and most people were doing just that. Oh, by the way, the beer was cheap, too.

George's new bar companion explained that Fast Eddie had quite an influence upon him between the ages of 21 and 24 as he sort of lived at the bar during that time you might say. Now when he comes home to visit his parents, he said that he always stops here, but brings his folks along with him.

George drank his way to the front of the food line where he ordered a Bratwurst and a "Chick on a Stick" (very well seasoned chicken wings on a skewer). He paid his money and was given a receipt and stood on the side waiting for his food. A nice young lady informed him that he might as well find a place to sit down to wait for his food as they were calling number 475 at that time. He looked down at his receipt, and he held number 2. Number 2! How high did these numbers go before they rolled over?

He then went over to one of the bars and found a place to sit next to a nice couple. The guy had enough tattoos to be considered a circus freak, and she sported a lovely "Harley Davidson" logo on her forearm: they were real nice folks. Well, much to George's surprise, in about a half hour and some 80 numbers later they rolled the numbers over and his number 2 came up. The food quality was surprisingly not indicative of its low price. It was actually QUITE GOOD!

After "dining", George decided to walk around and absorb the "ambiance". "Fast Eddie's" was decorated in dark tones with splashes of neon. There were many rooms with music playing throughout. His friend from the food line told him that when the state of Illinois banned smoking in bars, Fast Eddie took action and bought the street adjacent to the bar from the city and enclosed the area for the smokers. This George wanted to see, so he went out a side door into a new world.

Fast Eddie had built a wall between 15 and 20 feet high enclosing the entire area. You couldn't see out, and no one could see in from the outside. This area was filled with tables and chairs, a couple of bars, a stage with two guys playing guitars, and hundreds of people eating, drinking, singing, and dancing.

The captain asked one of the bartenders if it was always this crazy. He explained that this was a small crowd, and he should have been here during mid summer when it was packed. By the way, this was only 4 o'clock in the afternoon.

As George worked his way back to the main bar area heading for the only exit in the place, he looked back for a moment on what must be truly this bar "nirvana". If ever in Alton, Illinois again, he will return.

Upon his return to the boat (having been to the "mountaintop") and a nap, dinner that evening was delivered by a local Chinese restaurant followed up by an early bed-time, since we were anxious to get on our way at sunrise tomorrow.